How to enhance self-esteem - the question that worries many, because the success of the personality, its behavior depends on the level of self-esteem. More often, people underestimate themselves and their potential than revaluate. Due to the understated self-esteem, a person may miss many opportunities. Violation of self-esteem begins with improper family education, since its formation takes place, first of all, in childhood. Self-assessment is the main behavior of the personality. It is from it that interpersonal relations, demanding, criticality, attitude towards their luck and failure.
Psychology - how to increase self-esteem
People, doubting, spend their time and misses the opportunities for personal growth and development. After all, it would seem, an understanding and awareness of this simple truth should spur the personalities for the implementation of the laid potential. However, everything is exactly the opposite. As if it did not sound paradoxically, this behavior of the person himself in the short term is much more profitable. Constantly convincing itself is that the solution of difficult tasks is not on the shoulder, it is defended from the emergence of negative emotions that will be associated with the possible risk of failure. Constant uncertainty in their forces oppresses the individual not only spiritually, but also physically. A man begins to tire faster, feels exhausted. Ultimately, constant doubts in their forces lead to the fact that even simple cases that previously seemed completely simple, become unbearable.
It is quite simple to increase self-esteem, however, this will require certain efforts of certain efforts and temporary costs. Today, psychology has developed various techniques, ways, trainings to improve self-esteem. Psychologists daily on the net and on television offer their advice: how to increase self-esteem. The first rule of adequate self-esteem is to stop any comparison of oneself with other individuals. After all, there will always be people in life who are smarter than you, know something better than you, stronger than you, etc. A comparison leads to the fact that you will always surround a lot of rivals or opponents that you cannot exceed.
The next advice to help increase self-esteem is the cessation of own censure and "eating" itself. Self-esteem never increase if you all the time will repeat negative statements towards yourself or your potential.
The correction of self-assessment towards adequacy is directly related to statements about himself. All compliments, gratitude, recognition, congratulations should be answered "Thank you." Answering a completely honored compliment "nothing special," you, thereby reject it and simultaneously send yourself a signal that the praise is completely unworthy, forming a low self-esteem. The daily repetition of affirmations (positive statements) leads to an increase in self-esteem, to acquire confidence in its capabilities.
To enhance self-esteem, learn books on this topic, watch video or training seminars, listen to audio recordings. Any information studied gets into your brain and rooted in it, forcing it to work. The dominant information will affect the brain and, as a result, on behavior of the dominant way. Any positive information will be configured to a positive way, while negative, on the contrary. Therefore, attention should be paid to viewing the telecast or reading books with a positive orientation.
In communication, you need to give preference positive, optimistic and confident people who are always ready to support you. Pessimistic identities will suppress you, with the result that self-esteem will only decline.
It is necessary to make a list of their past victories and all achievements, even the smallest. Looking through it regularly remember that joy, pride and sense of satisfaction, which then experienced. It follows on a piece of paper to describe at least 20 of your positive features and view this list as often as possible.
Learn to give yourself to others, help people around you or just encourage them positively. So the person is arranged that when he makes something disinterested for others, the value of his own person is growing in his eyes, and therefore, the mood improves and the self-esteem improves.
You need to try to engage only by what you like personally. Self-esteem is growing when you work or any other activities that bring joy and pleasure to you. If the work at the moment does not greatly suit, then you can devote your free time to hobbies that will give the joy to you.
How to increase your own self-esteem? Simply and easily. The advice of the psychologist: you need to live your life and do not look around. It is necessary to take responsibility for yourself and your life in your hands! It is not necessary to make decisions, only on the basis of approval by them meaningful to you. Be true to yourself. Take decisions and incarnate them. Do not be afraid to make incorrect solutions. After all, as they say: "Who does not risk, he does not drink champagne."
And most importantly - act! You can never enhance self-esteem if you don't do anything. Boldly accept calls that give you life. When you are not sitting on the spot, but act, your own self-esteem begins to grow and a positive attitude appears relative to his personality. Any delay for various reasons, for example, due to uncertainty, will only lead to the emergence of sad sensations and disorder, as a result of which - a decrease in self-esteem.
How to increase self-esteem and confidence
Pretty little people think about how important the right self-esteem is important to achieve success in life. After all, it becomes impossible to achieve heights in the career, to acquire happiness and harmony in personal life, to get recognition of others when you yourself do not believe in your strength, and please yourself for unworthy of all the listed goods. Often, precisely understated self-esteem is made for a person an invisible, but an ingredient barrier on the path to success.
How to increase self-esteem and confidence to a person, thereby destroying a serious obstacle to success than dangerous understated self-esteem? Anyone from the very beginning of his life and to its very end faces the estimation. Every day, people evaluate each other's actions, appearance, etc., comparing them with a kind of standard, which was laid in their subconscious from early childhood. And the result of such comparison determines the relationship to objects or events of the surrounding reality, helps to form their own opinion about them.
Having created an initial image or impression of something, the subconsciousness then only complements the previously created image with new details. The same person does, unconsciously, and with respect to his own person. Individual forms his opinion about himself, his actions and about the place in life. It is from the fact that he hears from the people's meaningful in his life (for example, parents, teachers, peers), often depends on what he achieves in his future life. Calling your child constantly stretching, irrelantless, you risk growing an insecure personality with an understated self-esteem. After all, a person, insecure in its own power, will be much less likely to take the initiative. He will try to avoid responsible orders, therefore, it is less likely to succeed. Success in any undertaking or recognition of others contribute to the growth of self-assessment, and, as a result, the growth of confidence.
The causes of low self-esteem may be incorrect family education, but should not think that nothing more affects the decrease in self-esteem. Constant failures, stressful situations, depressive states can reduce confidence in their forces, even in an adult person who has achieved success. The eyelid problems do not allow the individual to adequately evaluate their own character traits and positive qualities.
The reasons for lowering self-esteem There are many, for example, dismissal from work, parting with a close person, the death of a loved one or any other shock. The consequence of understated self-esteem and insecurity becomes what he begins to consider itself worse than others, unworthy of the benefits that deserved, even if others do not consider it. If a person was discharged several times from work, then the uncertainty could grow into a phobia.
How to increase self-esteem and confidence? Quite often to increase self-esteem and confidence is not easy. Therefore, many methods have been developed today that helps the individual adequately evaluate their own personality. As mentioned above, to return confidence and improve self-esteem, it is necessary to stop comparing with others. After all, the fact that all people are different and is human happiness. In order not to fall into depression and do not focus on problem situations, you need to find a hobby or any passion in which you can achieve success. It doesn't matter what kind of hobby it will be, the main thing is that it brings satisfaction with the results of its labor.
A pretty useful method of improving self-esteem is considered meditation. She not only harmonizes the internal state of the individual, brings order to thoughts, but also adds confidence to man. Even a long-term meditation allows the individual to relax and calm down, as a result, he can calmly assess the situation that he worries him, while removing tensions.
How to increase self-esteem unemployed? Today, this is an urgent question, because the unemployed person immediately loses confidence, because almost brought to despair and considers himself a loser, losers in the game called Life. For the unemployed, support for loved ones is very important. The leading psychologists have developed a lot of trainings and exercises on the topic: "How to increase self-esteem unemployed." The main goal of such exercises is to assist citizens in improving self-esteem, as well as the acquaintance of confidence. In training people teach business etiquette, self-workers elements, competent construction of goals, planning, efficient job search skills, etc.
How to increase self-esteem and achieve success
You are concerned about how to increase your own self-esteem and achieve success? There are several effective and proven receptions for solving this problem. The first thing you need to do is to form and try to keep the positive image of yourself in my head. The image must be detailed. At how clear it is clear and bright depends on how quickly it will be implemented. It is necessary to describe the manner of behavior in various circumstances, character traits, positive parties, to dress up, etc.
Look as often as possible in the usual mirror and at the same time, say everything is that thank you for yourself that you love yourself. This reception is called a mirror. You need to try to find the maximum possible number of positive characteristics. Try to take yourself and love the person who you really are. If you see some shortcomings in your appearance that you are not satisfied, then emphasize only on good, and satisfying you in your appearance.
The next reception of improving self-esteem is to maintain a diary. You should start a notebook and call it the "Success Diary". It will need to record all your achievements during the day, small victories, all that you have done well, thanks to competent planning, responsible approach and correct implementation. All that was during the day negative or what did not work out, you need to omit and forget. When depression will be overcome or a bunch of problems that seem to be, at first glance, it is impossible to solve, just open the diary and re-read it.
Samoreclamp is also one of the effective techniques towards success. It consists in writing a small text of a descriptive character. Such text should describe your qualities and character traits from the winning side. This technique can be combined with the exercise "Mirror". On a pure sheet of paper, describe all your positive characteristics and read them in front of the mirror daily.
Tips: how to increase self-esteem
In the morning, it is necessary to make a maximum effort to look attractive, energetic, without buttons, who strive to disappear, or be a person who does not need to constantly correct the hairstyle or smoothing the folds on the trousers. If you look like "with a needle", it will help not think constantly about your appearance.
Do not focus on your own physical flaws. Physical disadvantages have all mankind. It should be understood that most of the people with whom we face every day, do not notice your shortcomings at all, or do not even suspect their availability. Along with this, you should not be too critical and towards other people. In order to arrange people to themselves, it is not necessary to know many jokes, to fondan with brilliant ideas, just just be able to listen. Do not try to become more confident and brave with alcohol.
How to increase self-esteem after parting? An increase in self-assessment of the individual after parting or divorce is this question for decades who worries many. Any parting never passes without a trace. This is due to the violation of the usual gender. The person appears in the thoughts that they broke up, because he is bad. It is more difficult to partition perceives the beautiful half of humanity, as they are more emotional. Each girl since childhood says that she is a custodian of a focus and relationship. That is why the responsibility for destroyed relationships often they pin themselves. If the separation occurred because of the treason, then it is doubly not easy to realize it. In the subconscious, a person will think that a rival or an opponent is better than him.
How to increase self-esteem for a person after parting with his beloved? The main reasons for the reduction of self-esteem during the break of relationships are: the emergence of uncertainty, lonely fear, experiences about the impossibility of finding a replacement and others. In principle, such experiences take place after a certain amount of time, but not always. The main thing at any parting is not to blame yourself. All people are mistaken and this is normal. Your mistakes should be taken as an acquired experience, and not as a tragedy. If you decide to part - this does not mean that the problem is in you. Everyone has the right to choose and must be responsible for its choice.
Ways to enhance self-esteem include the following: should not be closed in yourself, it is necessary to communicate more, share your experiences with loved ones, pour their emotions to them, in the absence of close to splashing your experiences on paper. Do not regret yourself. After all, this road leads to nowhere. The more you regret yourself, the more it becomes you. Of this closed circle, it is simply not possible to get out without help. Instead of pitying yourself, switch to empathy. There are many people who are much harder now. Help others, thereby help themselves. Sympathy and competing to others, you will forget about your own failure and grow in your eyes. Getting acquainted with new people, you should not compare them with former partners, demand from them the same actions as from predecessors. Every person is individual and that's fine. Do not be afraid of new relationships, communication, ask questions. After all, if something is incomprehensible - it is easier to ask once than to get around constantly.
How to increase self-esteem? The main thing in lifting self-esteem is daily work on yourself. You can self-talk, do something new, then what you used to even think about before. Sign up into the gym. After all, a beautiful, healthy body adds confidence in itself and strengthens the inner spirit. Perfectly improves the mood and self-confidence, mostly women, shopping campaign, image change, the general cleaning of the housing.
Enhance self-esteem - Exercises
Self-assessment regulates the model of behavior of each person. It is the basis of which all individual abilities and quality accumulate. The understated self-esteem is a human problem that accompanies it throughout his life and is characterized by having the potential, the individual is simply afraid to manifest himself, fearing in response to hear criticism in his address or get condemnation. Low self-esteem interferes with personal self-realization.
Psychologists recommend exercises, the execution of which will raise self-esteem and debunk all the controversial fears and fears.
The first exercise lies in the ability to love yourself. All women of the world can not have reference size 90-60-90, as well as men can not be polled by handsome. In personality, soulfulness, kindness and is the true beauty of people. In most cases, the figure depends on the people themselves. If you don't like a big belly, you can go to the gym, sit on a diet or perform at home a complex of non-hard exercises. If you consider yourself unsuccessful, then open the photo album and remember all the happiest moments of life. The reality is that all the events are temporary, any failures are always replaced by success. This is a pattern. The main thing is premature not to fall into the despondency and not to miss potential. Understand that you are surrounded by a lot of people who seem to be that your problems compared to them are just insignificant. Believe and you are to difficulties as well. Remember - as you make yourself and will see you surrounding. Write on paper a list of your positive qualities and will be surprised by their quantity.
The next exercise is called "Light Light". Sometimes it is enough to give confidence just to change the image, get a couple of compliments from acquaintances, to catch a couple of enthusiastic or envious views of colleagues. Therefore, spend a little more time than usual, going to work. Bring your appearance to immaculateness. Watching himself in the mirror, you should have fun, not disappointment.
The third exercise is in the ability to speak their fears "no". There is a fear of public speeches - boldly defeat it. The first time is always hard. Your motto must be approved, the following point: "I can all, I can cope", etc. Such thoughts must accompany every your undertak. After all, only those doors open in which we knock.
Fourth exercise is in the ability to forgive yourself. It should be understood that a negative result is also the result. Each person has the right to make a mistake. It is necessary to realize your mistakes, to understand what they did not do it, but it is impossible to execute themselves for them. You should give yourself the right to errors. Of any error, it is necessary to make a conclusion in order to further avoid similar situations, and it will be much more efficient than the useless feeling of guilt. Do not be afraid to seem like funny, inept or awkward. Better together with others, dare to your slip and forget about him.
Training on improving self-esteem includes decisive development, which is the opposite quality of low self-esteem. No need to postpone on then what can be done now. We decided to sit on the diet, then not from Monday, and from this day, they decided to quit smoking so throw, and do not smoke to the last. If it did not work after the first exercise to increase self-esteem, then you need to repeat attempts until the positive result is reached.
The advice of the psychologist How to enhance self-esteem is as follows: Learn to smile in any situations. It is unlikely that we are constantly sullen and all displeased individual will find support for others. It became sad - you can turn on the funny comedy, wrapped in your favorite plaid with a cup of hot chocolate and make it enough. Positive attitude just creates wonders. They fired from work - so it's great, it means it is time to change your life for the better. Raise self-esteem will help talking to souls with parents or other close people. Mom, who has always been proud of you, will help notify confidence before the difficult undertaking or solving the problem. Do not avoid constructive criticism. She will help you become better, more successful, while the lie will pull only down and back. Recognition of others recognition is significantly raised, so do not be afraid to help people.
In order to regain confidence and increase self-esteem should not try to influence the areas in which you are most vulnerable. For example, you do not own the art of writing speech, but write down the letters perfection courses. The successes of others can only drive you into depression. It is better to improve the skills that initially you have gotten better. The awareness of our own skill and professionalism will only strengthen the faith in itself, will increase the flow of positive emotions, which will increase self-esteem.
Learn to concentrate only on achievable purposes. For example, find a common language with a child - such a goal is quite achievable. But the goal is to become an opera singer is impracticable without the presence of relevant data and special training. It is always necessary to justify each target set in front of them with their real possibilities for its achievement. So, for example, you should not take a big loan in the hope of repaying it by the estimated winning in the lottery.
How to quickly increase self-esteem? Try at least once a day relax, it is more convenient and present yourself as a winner, an indisputable leader in the sphere that interests you. Imagine the last controversial conflict and in your imagination make others reckon with your opinion. Then open your eyes and tell yourself that you can everything, and you will succeed.
Imagine a serious hopeless situation or event that you are very afraid. Try to decide how you do in this situation. Imagine how you overcome the complex situation safely.
Determine the main priorities and go to them without distracting on the way to what is less important to you. It should be understood that it is simply impossible to argue the immense. Think that you are not satisfied in life. So you live, as I would like. What do you miss? What needs to be done to change the situation? Place your goals, achieve them, do not neglect using other people. Learn to positively perceive yourself and others. Tune in to communicate with others only in a positive line. Try to trust you around you.
Never forget that in the world necessarily there are people you need as you like - with a bunch of flaws and advantages. They love you not for something, but in spite of everything, just for what you are.
Exercises for improving self-esteem are concluded in certain positive installations that a person inspires themselves. Therefore, it is necessary to understand that to achieve a positive result, it is necessary, first of all, it is strongly wanted and make a maximum effort.
The best advice that can be given to acquire confidence, success and improving self-esteem is permanent training for self-improvement. After all, as they say, there are no obstacles to ideality. Anyone, even tiny successes, keep confidence in you and will give an understanding that you deserve it right and deserve more. You always need to remember that in your life you yourself are the most important person, and your opinion is the main one. That is why take yourself, your individuality and try to enjoy every lively moment.
Author :Practical psychologist Vednash N.A.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "Plyomed"
If you have now thought about how to increase your self-esteem, then you are the Creator of my own life. Realizing the problem, you did not accept her and did not postpone "for later", and now Look for ways to solve it And ready to work out. I am proud of you.
Your mood, as well as our most effective self-assessment tips collected in this article, will help solve this problem once and forever. Only I ask you not to just read the article, but Apply in practice At least part of the recommendations available here, and you can very quickly feel positive changes in the plan of self-esteem. Well, ready? Then begin in order.
What is self-esteem?
Typically, this term is called General perception by man Own abilities, opportunities and personal qualities. It does not always exactly coincide with real possibilities, but often becomes The main factor in life success. Therefore, any person experiencing problems with self-esteem must work on it to increase it.
Self-esteem performs several important functions, the main of which are:
- Protection - internal autonomy, the ability to form his own opinion and cannot be affected by someone else;
- Regulation - the ability to make a conscious personal choice;
- Development is the desire for self-improvement.
It is important to understand that low self-esteem is formed in humans. Not only because of real flaws. It affects the opinion of others (from the nearest relatives to colleagues and comrades). If she is underestimated, a person spends an excessive amount of energy in doubt Do not take care of ambitious projects, does not believe in yourself. If it is overestimated - the risk of making mistakes arises, since excessive self-confidence makes a person lose caution. To understand how to increase self-esteem, it is necessary to figure out how it is formed, and what factors affect it.
How self-esteem is formed
The ability to adequately evaluate its own strengths and weaknesses is formed in a person since childhood. Excessive demanding and rigor of parents or dismissive attitude of friends may have long-playing consequences. As a result, a person matures, gets education, is arranged to work and makes a family, and The need to constantly prove something The surrounding it remains and negatively affects the quality of life.
Friends and relatives also continuously affect self-esteem - an expensive person can instantly increase it or lower it. Especially painfully perceived criticism in their own address, inevitably Definition of self-confidence (both in the short term and long-term). In addition, often the source of insecurity becomes ourselves. Concentrating on failure, we come to disappointing conclusions and deal with self-criticism, reducing our own initiative.
No less frequent source of formation of low self-esteem is Negative experience from childhood Or a consequence of psychological problems initially, it is formed due to certain features of the upbringing and norms of the behavior imposed by the child parents. In the future, the perception of its own attractiveness, sporting success and various abilities is added. All occurring events that make a person rethink their own value, affect its self-esteem. And from a certain point, it begins to play a decisive role in life, forcing a person to abandon ambitions. To overcome this vicious circle, it is necessary to actively work on how to increase self-esteem. We continue.
How to determine what self-esteem is reduced?
Usually the need to work on improving self-esteem is indicated by the following characteristics:
- excess self-criticism in harmless errors;
- fear of mistakes and permanent experiences due to the smallest detail;
- Increased susceptibility to someone else's opinion;
- Unreasonable jealousness due to self-satisfaction;
- envy to successful people;
- constant search for excuses;
- Pessimism and negative perception of events.
Even one of the listed character traits indicates a noticeable deficiency of self-confidence. If you have found several items from this list, you urgently need to improve self-esteem with all available ways.
Why is self-esteem reduced?
Before we start work on improving self-esteem, let's understand with the main reasons that provoke its decline. As they say, warned - it means armed. What are these factors?
One of the main reasons for the reduction of self-esteem in modern life is a tendency to "self-copy". A person constantly analyzes his failures, Compare yourself with other people. As examples for imitation, he chooses smart, successful and attractive. And comparing himself with them, he begins to consider himself a loser. Of course, the habit of comparing ourselves with more successful comrades can help some people and increase their productivity. But for most it turns around Strong blows as soon as possible.
For girls and women, the most important factor capable of lowering or enhancing self-esteem is appearance. Especially strongly the situation was aggravated by our time. If yesterday beautiful, almost perfect faces looked at us only with glossy pages, today they are in every social network profile. On many girls it acts negative. And even the opportunity to publish your own photo, "exconvertible" to the ideal, Does not correct this situation.
There is another factor, the harmful effects of which almost everyone was subjected. it Experience defeat. Faced with a strong failure, a person is fused on the situation. He again and again scrolls in thoughts an unpleasant event, coming up, as it should be done to avoid failure. Do you know this feeling? Literally shining in the past, a person loses control over the present and future.
There are other factors. For example, communication with people seeking Enhance your self-esteem for someone else's account. The bad assistant is both perfectionism, inevitably increasing fear of failure. We listed the most noticeable reasons, in fact they are much more, but we will not waste time. Go to the main part of our article.
Simple ways to increase self-esteem
As mentioned earlier, it is possible to influence self-esteem. Of course, you have to work hard, but believe me - the result is worth it. Harmonious self-esteem makes a person more confident, positive and most importantly - happy. Well, ready to work on self-esteem? Then proceed. Here is our plan:
Find the root of the problem
Low self-esteem is not laid in us genetically - it develops Under the influence of external factors. To understand how to increase it, it is necessary to figure out what caused the problem. For example, if problems with self-perception are associated with an excess weight, you need to remember when the alarming thoughts associated with this were first. Perhaps someone from friends joked on this topic, and you were unpleasant? In any case, all further work will be much more efficient when you will clearly realize the reason for the affected self-esteem, and the moment you have lost confidence.
Get rid of self-critics
All people make mistakes, and it is not necessary to edit themselves for each failure. Getting rid of self-criticism will give you several advantages in life at once:
- Energy has been liberated that has previously seen for self-vaccination;
- You will learn to accept yourself and be focused on achieving goals;
- Will manifest and come to the foreground strengths of your personality.
Having learned to refer to failures creatively and without self-vaccination, you can benefit from them. It will be valuable experience, and in some cases it is possible to wrap a mistake for their favor.
What is needed for this? First, no matter how bad there is a situation, remember - Could be much worse. And everything is not the most worse way only thanks to your efforts and experience. In addition, think about how many people in your place would not be able to extract a valuable lesson from the current situation, since not sufficiently strong in character, But you can. Do it, and imbued with a sense of self-esteem to yourself, because failures will no longer break you, but only make it stronger.
In addition to self-criticism, it is important to be able to persist respond to criticism of others. We have already dismantled this important topic in detail a little earlier, so moving on.
Learn to perceive failures as an important experience.
As we have already spoken, failures can "hit" by self-esteem. But let's agree and forever: each painful mistake is a valuable life lesson. Analyze it. Be sure to think what to do to avoid such mistakes in the future How to use the experience gained and what advantages can be learned.
Try to look at yourself from the side, as you would look at the dear person who has fallen into a similar situation. Hardly you would be able to condemn him, isn't it? So you should not blame yourself.
Get Success Diary
Diary of success - a mandatory tool for any person aspiring to increase self-esteem. Faming in yourself, the person automatically begins to attach the maximum values to his own missum, ignoring the successes and praise. It's time to refraart this trend. Start recording your own achievements, praise from other people and the cases you yourself are satisfied. Read more about how to keep a diary of success, read here.
Self-criticism and self-confidence - bad habits. So why not oust them with a useful habit - the ability to praise yourself for small victories? Just note each success and analyze which trait of the character helped it to achieve it. This method will help not only increase self-esteem, but also develop useful abilities that make you more successful.
But it's not about the banal praise, in the spirit "Well done". So that it gives the effect, you need to try to regularly analyze the actions you do. For example, you set the goal to start getting up a little earlier every day. And so, the next day You got it. Think about the fact that thousands of people on this planet do not have to take themselves to get up earlier, and you were able to do it in one day. Yes, you are a hero, you can safely be proud of! Take the habit in this way to analyze your achievements regularly - think about how you are actually strong in spirit and how much you know how to.
Learn to say "no!"
Reduced self-conceit and submissive reliability are associated with mutual causal relationship. Learn to refuse people who put their interests above yours. Becoming hard and answering "no!" For unwanted suggestions, you will automatically increase your own self-esteem. You will begin to respect yourself more, realize that you know how to defend your borders, and this is the foundation of a harmonious personality.
Create yourself a positive environment
Avoid negative people recommend not just like that. They sweep every unpleasant trifle and remind her. Try to surround yourself with positive people who Prefer not to notice good. Of course, it is not always possible to follow this advice, since a close relative may be "negative". In this case, regularly remind him that you do not want a negative in communicating. Let it learn to control yourself. Do not be afraid to tell people what they may not be pleasant to hear, be afraid to make such things.
Take care of sports
Do not necessarily reduce yourself with training in the gym. Daily 20-minute jogging or hour walk will increase the tone and improve the mood. Do not be afraid to spend time on the sport. Anyone who was fascinated by regular jogs or other workouts, quickly notices that there is even more free time. The secret is that the sport gives a powerful charge of energy, helping doing everything faster.
Exit the "Comfort Zone"
Under the oppression of problems, the person flows into dependence on its own weaknesses giving him a feeling of comfort. Sweets, pastries, TV series, games, alcohol and other ways of self-consistencies help to run away from problems in a cozy inner world. That's just problems at this time Do not solve, but only accumulate. Subconsciously, a person realizes that he hid out of reality, so his self-esteem is inevitably declining. And there is only one way to quickly and effectively increase it - get out of the "Comfort Zone" and start actively solving the accumulated problems.
Start using affirmations
Positive affirmations - reception from psychology that can even increase self-esteem by a person who considers himself the last loser. These are small statements containing positive settings in the style "I am quite strong to achieve everything I want!". You can find them in text form or in audio recordings. Read them out loud, memorize, listen during jogging. These settings are remembered, and gradually you will begin to remember them in any life situation when it takes.
What will work on self-esteem?
Well, my friends, I hope you have already started following the practice of knowledge gained, or be sure to try it in the near future. So that you accurately achieve success in the issue of improving self-esteem, let's consolidate your motivation, and we indulge in what qualities a person with positive self-esteem has:
- I am confident in your own strength;
- knows his strong parties and enjoys them;
- knows his weaknesses and takes them;
- not looking for excuses to his actions;
- does not need to approve others;
- immune to criticism;
- Does not judge people in appearance;
- Does not feel unnecessary alarms or stress because I am confident.
This is only an incomplete list of what qualities a person has, who worked on improving self-esteem. In my opinion, it is worth growing and developing in this direction, agree?
My friends, of course, there is no single recipe for improving self-esteem, which would come absolutely to everyone. But thoroughly examining the recommendations of this article, you will surely find a methodology that will be effective for you. Believe yourself just as I believe in you.
Everything will work out!
Self-assessment is our own way of thinking, this is an assessment of the personality of themselves, its capabilities, abilities and qualities in different areas. From what self-esteem in humans, its relationship with the outside world is largely determined, its relations to their own success and failures, its formation in society, etc. How to increase your own self-esteem, if it is understated? How to determine which person prevails self-esteem?
Launched self-esteem shows a person indecisive and insecure in making decisions and in achieving goals. The reasons for low self-esteem are most often incorporated in childhood, go (as a rule, from parents), and then fixed by the assessment of close and surrounding people, friends, society. A man with low self-esteem is constantly displeased with himself and the surrounding people. Such a person, as a rule, implements other people's goals and plans, he does not live his own life and his interests, etc.
High self-esteem, on the contrary, helps to be a person confident, its forces and opportunities. A person with high self-esteem easily implements his goals and plans, both in personal life and in public. Such a person is decisive, initiative, enterprising. He easily defends his point of view and is not afraid to be incomprehensible. He does not care about the opinions and assessments of the surrounding people (both positive and negative), it is considered with his inner convictions. He is a person action and decision making. In this case, such behavior is not egoism and not pride. Because such a person occupies a creative, creative position, he just appreciates himself and trusts himself. He loves himself and other people without opposing them.
When the question of how to increase self-esteem, it is advisable to answer the following questions:
- How do you feel about yourself?
- How do you rate yourself?
- What do you think about yourself?
- How do you talk about yourself to people around you?
- What kind of people surround you?
- Do you love yourself?
- Do you approve yourself and your actions?
- Do you depend on the opinions of people around you?
- Do your mood deteriorate if someone is undeserved or negatively spoken about you?
Having answered my sincerely on these questions, you will understand that Improving self-assessment is an internal work on its qualities. As a rule, good students have high self-esteem (excessive), in the weak - low. The formed low self-assessment level in childhood and young age should be increased, otherwise the man will grow out of the child and the person and the person. As a result, he will not be able to realize himself in life.
What do you need to do to increase self-esteem?
1) Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that You will now take yourself to such (such) what you are. You love yourself exactly what at the moment you are, with all your strong and weak parties.
2) Believe in yourself and in your inner strength. Support yourself, give yourself gifts and express compliments.
3) constantly put goals. Break a large goal to small. So, step by step, go to the result and implement them. As the goals and the implementation of their plans are achieved, your self-esteem will increase. This is one of the main ways to improve self-esteem. Just make yourself act.
4) Move your favorite thing . At the initial stage, at least pay time to your favorite lesson. Enjoy creativity, bring the benefit of yourself and people around you.
5) Every day, read positive inspirational literature, books and articles on how to increase self-esteem and become more confident. Attend trainings and seminars on this topic. Study in practice from the masters.
6) to improve their self-esteem to effectively use affirmations (Positive statements) that will affect the subconscious, helping you make decisions and act. For example: I easily accept the right solutions. I love to act successfully. I always act easily, confidently and successfully, etc.
7) Imprint more often. Imagine yourself in meditation with a successful, confident and self-sufficient person who easily reaches its goals.
8) Review your environment, realize with whom you communicate. Start communicating with such people who believe in you and support. With successful people who, as a rule, high self-esteem. And please never compare yourself with other people. Compare yourself only with you. It is important.
9) Perform your own desires. Not occasionally, but every day. Do for yourself, though small but pleasant and enjoying surprises. Thank you and life for what you have.
10) when improving self-esteem It is very effective to draw up a list of our past achievements and more often to revise it.
11) Find the plot of support in yourself. Get rid of fear, stop afraid of failures. Understand that this is also the experience, having passed that, you acquire understanding and wisdom. As a result, get stronger.
12) Take care of your body. The body is the temple of our soul. Use healthy and useful food, exercise. No good health can be high self-esteem.
13) If you need help, do not be afraid about it to ask. Remember: "ask and give you.
14) Be yourself and love yourself.
15) Learn to communicate with the most important person in your life - with yourself. Understand that you are your best friend. And then your love for it will raise your level of self-esteem. You will become strong and self-confident man. You will start attracting exactly those people and such events that you always strive. Because you will find the inner strength and learn yourself.
Everything that you strived earlier will become affordable, easy and enjoyable. Do you like "like" if you liked the article and subscribe to the channel to get more useful materials.
How to raise self-esteem and love yourself? How to gain confidence and believe in your strength? What tips and ways to improve self-esteem work?
Greetings to you, dear readers! With you Denis Kudarin.
It has long been proven by scientists that self-esteem is one of the most important factors for achieving success in life and feeling confidence.
Low self-esteem leads to poverty, depression and sense of senselessness of their own existence.
If you or your acquaintances face this problem, today I will share with you effective ways to resolve it, which helped me personally.
All techniques and techniques described in the article are recommended by leading psychologists and just successful people who use them every day in their own life.
Using them in practice, you can not only become more confident, but in the end, even increase your income and even start a business.
Let's start, friends!
1. What is self-esteem: definition and its influence on our life
To achieve success in any area of its activities, a person needs to be confident and be able to convince others to be right.
People with low self-esteem cannot be happy by definition: all of their existence consists of doubts, disappointments and self-confidence. Meanwhile, the bright, rich life, life passes by, getting down to those who do not doubt their own rightness and confidently walks to their goal.
A man with low self-esteem considers himself not worthy of happiness, so subconsciously inferior in everything else. To change the situation in your favor, you need to change myself - there is no other way.
In this article, I will tell you why a person's self-esteem is so important which reasons affect its decline, and how to increase the self-esteem of a man, a woman (girl), a teenage in the most effective methods.
Self-satisfaction - This is the presentation of an individual about the importance of his personality towards other people and the assessment of their own qualities - advantages and disadvantages.
Self-assessment is extremely important for the full functioning of the person in society and achieving various life goals - success, self-realization, family happiness, spiritual and material well-being.
Self-assessment functions are as follows:
- Protective - ensures the stability and relative independence of the individual from the opinions of others;
- Regulatory - gives a person a person to solve the tasks of a personality choice;
- Developing - Provides an impetus to the development of personality.
The assessment of our personality surrounding - in particular, parents, peers, friends is played in the early formation of self-assessment. Ideally, self-esteem should be based only on the own opinion of the individual about himself, but in fact, there are many different factors on it.
Self-esteem - the attitude of a person to itself: to its capabilities, physical and spiritual qualities. An adequate assessment of their own capabilities helps to avoid mistakes and at the same time is an incentive to further development.
Psychologists believe that the ideal self-esteem is the most accurate assessment by the person of his abilities.
The understated self-esteem causes a person to doubt, thinking and take incorrect solutions, and too high leads to a large number of errors.
In most cases, we are dealing with the underestimation of the person of their capabilities, which is why a person is not able to fully reveal its potential and does not understand how to increase self-esteem.
A well-known coach in the field of psychology of success Brian Tracy believes that low self-esteem is the main cause of man's financial failure. After all, if you feel bad, you have no confidence in your abilities, then you are doomed to be poor, but you don't even have to dream about your own business.
On the contrary, the growth of self-esteem leads to an increase in your income and earn more money. So if you have financial problems, be sure to look for the reason in your emotional state.
The pathological manifestation of the understated self-esteem is a complex of inferiority.
It is self-esteem - the key to achieving success in any field of human activity. Self-confidence leads to the adoption of important and timely decisions, and the underestimation of their forces reduces the level of person's personal energy, forces him to constantly doubt itself and instead of actions - to think about action.
2. Why is it important to love yourself and what will happen if this is not done
Increase self-esteem - it means to love yourself: take yourself as you are with all the disadvantages and flaws. There are plenty of cons: self-confident man in itself and differs from the ever doubting and uncertain that he sees not only the shortcomings, but also of dignity, and at the same time knows how to present himself to others.
If you do not like yourself, how can others love you? It is known that consciously and subconscious people strive to contact and communicate with self-confident personalities. It is precisely such individuals who are most often chosen to business partners, friends and in husbands (or wives).
If you doubt the connant for any trifle, you automatically program yourself for further failures and make an increasingly difficult decision-making process. Learn to praise yourself, forgive yourself and love yourself - you will see how the attitude of others will change.
Signs understated (-) self-esteem
A person with understated self-esteem usually manifests such qualities as:
- excessive self-criticism and dissatisfaction with themselves;
- increased sensitivity to criticism and opinions around;
- constant indecision and fear to allow a mistake;
- Pathological jealousy;
- envy to successes of others;
- Passionate desire to please;
- hostility to others;
- The constant protective position and the need to justify in their actions;
- Pessimism, negative worldview.
Individual with understated self-esteem perceives temporary difficulties and failures as permanent and makes incorrect conclusions. The worse we treat yourself, the more negatively relate to us the surrounding: this leads to alienation, depression and other psycho-emotional disorders.
3. High self-esteem and self-confidence - an important factor in achieving success
Before I tell about how to improve self-esteem, I want to emphasize the importance of love for myself to achieve success and well-being. For some reason, it is believed that self - sin or at least something that should be avoided.
In fact, the lack of love and respect for their own personality just gives rise to numerous complexes and internal conflicts.
If a person has a low opinion about himself, it is unlikely that the surrounding will be considered differently. And vice versa - self-confident people are usually highly evaluated by others: they are listening to their opinion, they seek to communicate with them and cooperate. Having learned to respect myself, we will gain respect for others, and also learn to adequately treat our opinion about us.
Signs high (+) self-esteem
People with healthy, high self-esteem possess the following advantages:
- take their physical look as it is;
- They are not afraid to make mistakes and learn to them;
- quietly perceive criticism and compliments;
- know how to communicate, do not experience robusts when communicating with unfamiliar people;
- Respect the opinion of others, but appreciate their own look at things;
- take care of their physical and emotional well-being;
- harmoniously developing;
- Success in their endeavors.
Beliefs and self-esteem are the same factors to achieve success and happiness, like the sun and water for the plant: a personal growth is impossible without them. Low self-esteem deprives a person of perspective and hope for changes.
4. Low self-esteem - 5 main reasons
The factors that directly or indirectly affect our attitude towards themselves, a great set. These are genetic features, and external data, and social status, and marital status. Below we will look at the 5 most common causes of low self-esteem.
Cause 1. Misquainment in the family
Our attitude towards himself directly depends on the right upbringing. If the parents did not encourage us, but on the contrary, they scolded and constantly compared with others, we simply won't have a reason for love for yourself - there will be no soil on which faith will be based in their abilities.
The decline in self-esteem and the lack of confidence in his own words and actions affects the criticism by the parents of any initiatives, undertakings and actions. Even matured, a person who was constantly criticized in childhood, subconsciously continues to be afraid of mistakes.
Parents (teachers, coaches) should know how to increase the self-esteem of the child, which suffers from doubts and insecurity.
The best way - praise, unobtrusive encouragement. It is enough several times sincerely praise the baby for the correctly performed school task, diligently drawn drawing, and his self-esteem will inevitably increase.
Psychologists say that the family is for the child the center of the world: it is there that all the future characteristics of an adult person are laid. Passivity, lethargy, uncertainty, other negative qualities - direct reflection of parental suggestions and installations.
Usually self-esteem is higher for the only children and those were born first. Other children often have a "low brother complex", when parents constantly compare the youngest child with the eldest.
The ideal for adequate self-esteem is the one in which the mother is always calm in a good mood, and the father is demanding, fair and has continuous authority.
Cause 2. Frequent failures in childhood
Nobody insured against failures, the main thing is our attitude. A strong traumatic event may affect the psyche in the form of a complex of guilt and reduce self-esteem. For example, some children accuse themselves in the divorce of parents or their frequent quarrels: in the future, the feeling of guilt is transformed into constant doubts and the inability to make a decision.
In childhood, quite harmless events acquire a space scale. For example, taking the second, and not the first place in the competition, the adult athlete will sigh and continue training with a double strength, and the child can get a psychological trauma for life, especially if parents do not show a proper understanding of the situation.
What does low self-esteem eat in childhood? Failures, mistakes, ridicule of peers, careless remarks of adults (parents first). As a result, the teenager forms the opinion that he is bad, unlucky, defective, and a false sense of guilt appears for his actions.
Cause 3. No clear goals in life
If you have nothing to strive in life, you do not need to strain and make volitional efforts. The lack of clear goals, laziness, following with standard philistine imperatives, is easy and does not require manifestation of personal qualities. Such a person does not plan to become successful and rich, he is passive in its essence.
Often people with low self-esteem live on autopilot, random. They are satisfied with gray tones, an inconspicable lifestyle, the lack of bright colors - there is no desire to get out of the swamp. Such people cease to pay attention to their own appearance, income, cease to dream and strive to change. Naturally, self-esteem in such a situation is not just low, but absent at all.
Growing, a person becomes passive, and then all these problems shifts on his family when he marries (get married).
Here the conclusion suggests itself with itself: to increase self-esteem with a man and a woman, that is, an adult person is also necessary as a child. After all, it all starts from childhood, and then nothing changes if an adult does not take their efforts for this.
Cause 4. Unhealthy social environment
If people are surrounded by people without certain purposes in life, staying in constant spiritual anabiosis, it is unlikely that you will have a desire for internal transformation.
High self-esteem and ambitions appear where there are examples for imitation - if all your friends and acquaintances are accustomed to living in the shade, without showing initiatives, then you are most likely to be completely arranged.
If you notice that you are surrounded by pathologically, everyone got used to complain about life, gossip, condemn others and excessively philosophy without reason - it is worth thinking, but on the path whether you with these people?
After all, such people can become energy vampires for you and prevent you from wake up the true potential.
If you feel that such a trend takes place - change this environment or at least limit the communication with it.
It is best to communicate by those people who are already successful, has its own business and knows how to earn. We have already written earlier on how to make money, we recommend familiarizing yourself with this article.
Cause 5. Defects of appearance and health
Low self-esteem often arises in children with defects of appearance or innate diseases.
Even if parents behave correctly towards such a child, it can largely influence the social environment - first of all, the opinion of peers.
A typical example is an excessive weight, which in kindergarten or school give offensive nicknames. Low self-esteem in such cases is virtually ensured if you do not accept appropriate measures.
In this case, it is worth trying to eliminate the existing shortcomings, and if it is impossible, you need to start developing other qualities that will make a person (child) more developed, charismatic and confident.
If a child is overweight and appropriate unattractive appearance, then with the right approach to the development of its abilities and talents, this lack of advantage.
Perhaps he will have the ability to sport (heavy athletics or struggle, or boxing), or vice versa, he will be able to become a popular actor with the type inherent in it.
In general, there are thousands of examples where people with enormous physical disabilities have achieved worldwide recognition, created happy families and at the same time live the lives that "healthy" can only dream of.
The most striking example is the example - Nick Vuychich , world famous speaker and preacher. Nick was born without hands and without legs Naturally experienced a huge complex of inferiority and even wanted to commit suicide.
But, thanks to the power of the will and the desire to live, achieved public recognition and helped thousands of people around the world to find themselves and cope with psychological difficulties.
Now Nick dollar millionaire and lovers of thousands of people, because he helped them change their lives. Working on his self-esteem, you can achieve unprecedented heights and even repeat the success of Nika Vuily, despite the fact that now your condition may not be the best.
And about how rich people think and what you need to become a millionaire, we have already written here.
5. How to increase self-esteem and confidence - 7 powerful ways
How to raise self-esteem and love yourself? There are many ways to make yourself believe in your own strength, but I chose the seven most reliable and efficient options.
Method 1. Signing and Communication with Successful People
Since a person is a social being, it completely depends on his environment. How to believe in yourself and increase self-esteem with other people? Very simple - you need to change your environment.
Above, I have already written that communication with the misinterpretation, lethargic and lazy people without ambitions and aspirations to changes - a direct path to a decrease in self-esteem and the absence of life motivation.
If you drastically change the circle of communication and become in contact with successful, purposeful, self-confident people, you will almost immediately feel how they are changing for the better. Gradually, a self-esteem will be returned to you, and all the qualities, without which it is impossible to achieve success.
Communicating with successful and prosperous people, you will learn to appreciate the individuality (including your own), it will become different about personal time, gain a goal and begin to achieve success on your own.
Method 2. Visiting events, trainings, seminars
In any city, events are held, trainings or seminars, on which specialists teach all those who want self-confidence and improve self-esteem.
Experts on applied psychology for several months will be able from a timid, indecisive individual to make a volitional, satisfied and purposeful person: the main thing is to have an initial impetus and a desire to change.
There are many competent books in which in detail, with examples and explanations, it is described about the need for love and respect for oneself: if you want a change, acquaintance with such literature will be very productive.
I recommend reading the following books: Brian Tracy "self-esteem", Sharon Vegshid-Cruz "How much do you stand? How to learn to love and respect yourself. "
Particularly relevant to enhance the female self-esteem will be the books of Helen Anteline "Charm of Femininity" and Louise Hay "Heal their lives".
Viewing a video content on this topic - documentary and artistic films that contribute to improving self-esteem.
Method 3. Exit from the "Comfort Zone" - committing unusual actions
The desire of a person to escape from problems in the zone of personal comfort is quite understandable. It is much easier in difficult situations to console yourself with sweets, alcohol, savoring your own impotence. It is much more difficult to accept the challenge face to face and make something that we are unusual.
At first, it may seem that outside the comfort zone is a hostile and inhospitable world, but then the understanding that real life, full of beauty, adventure and positive emotions, is exactly where you have not yet been.
Staying in the usual conditions is similar to life in an invisible cage, from which you are afraid to go out simply because you are used to it. Having learned to leave the "comfort zone" and at the same time remain calm, assembled and balanced, you will gain a powerful incentive to raise self-esteem and form your new image.
You can start with small - for example, stop after work to sit in front of the TV, and buy a subscription to a gym, come across running, yoga, meditation.
Put the task - to learn from a half year unfamiliar language or today to get to know the girl you like. Do not be afraid if the first time you do not have everything will be obtained - but new sensations and improvement of self-esteem are guaranteed.
Method 4. Refusal of excessive self-criticism
Starting to engage in self-vacation, to reinstate itself and "eat" for mistakes, disadvantages of appearance, failure in personal life, you will achieve several goals at once:
- Loose a huge amount of energy. You will not lose attention to myself, and there will be time for other, more creative and decent tasks;
- Learn how to take yourself as you are. You are the only and unique person on this planet. So why compare ourselves with others? It is better to focus on achieving your own goals according to your potential and your idea of happiness;
- Learn to see the positive features of your personality. . Instead of winning the negative, purposefully find the strengths and work on their development.
In the end, any failures, disappointment and errors can be paid in their favor using as a life experience.
Method 5. Sports and knowledge of a healthy lifestyle
In the course of the experiments conducted by European scientists, it was established that one of the easiest and most effective ways to increase self-esteem - to play sports, physical education or activities aimed at improving health and well-being.
A healthy body is a capacity of a healthy spirit and the right thoughts, and on the contrary: a person, heavy on the rise, with a non-war body, is difficult to make decisions and act independently.
Starting to play sports, a person begins to perceive his appearance less critical and more respectfully to himself. At the same time, the increase in self-esteem does not depend on the results of training: even if the changes are insignificant, the process of occupy itself is important.
The more active you exercise, the better you begin to treat yourself.
Any physical activity (especially for a person working in the office) is an opportunity to gain confidence and love yourself. This phenomenon is quite a scientific explanation: during sports, a person is intensively produced by dopamines - neurotransmitters responsible for encouraging (they are sometimes called "hormones of joy").
Biochemical changes have a positive effect on the psyche and increase our self-esteem.
Method 6. Listening to affirmations
Affirmations are one of the most effective ways to reprogram their own consciousness. In psychology, under affirmations, brief verbal formulas are understood, which, with repeated repetition, create a positive installation in a person's subconscious. In the future, this installation contributes to changing the character traits and personality in the direction of improvement.
Affirmations are always formulated as already accomplished fact that causes a person to accept them as a given and think accordingly. If our subconscious mind considers us confident, successful and purposeful, then gradually we really become such.
Typical examples of affirmations to improve self-esteem: "I am the owner of my life," "I can enjoy everything that I wish," "I believe in myself, so everything comes to me freely and without effort." These linguistic formulas can be repeated independently or listening to in the player: the main thing in this practice is regularity.
C read these phrases into the microphone by writing tracks from them from several minutes and listen in your free time. This technology is recommended by Western psychologists and has proven its high efficiency.
Method 7. Doing the diary of success and achievements
Raise the self-esteem for teenagers, men and women will help the diary of their own victories and achievements.
Get this diary right now and put everything there, which you managed to achieve the day (week, month). Successborne diary is a powerful stimulating tool that will make you believe in yourself and will allow you to increase your own efficiency repeatedly.
Each day, make recordings about any of your victories, even small.
- Transferred grandmother across the road;
- I wanted to eat harmful food, but restrained;
- Woke up and went on time (according to plan);
- Made a gift to his beloved (beloved);
- Earned 10% more than in the previous month;
All these "little things" belong to your personal success, be sure to make them in your business diary and read it regularly.
If you record there only 5 simple things a day, then a month this will already be 150 of your achievements!
Not so little for one month, agree?!
In one of our articles it was written about how to become rich and successful from scratch, and the maintenance of a diary of success could be the first step towards this.
6. Public opinion addiction is a factor destroying the person: We defeat the uncertainty
Public opinion can destroy our lives if they give it too much importance.
Constructive criticism indicating specific errors is useful and helps in development, but completely depend on the opinions of others - a big mistake.
Learn to appreciate your own opinion and your own look at things, then the words of others will cease to be so important for you. If you, committing any actions think primarily about what people will say how they will look at you, it is unlikely to succeed in their endeavors.
Let public opinion depends on you, and not you from him. Improve your own will and think less about the consequences.
How to become more confident in yourself - practical exercises
For the development of self-confidence, I recommend to perform the following 2 exercises:
- "Himself a clown." Preparation: You ridiculously dress, such as curlers, huge tie, funny clothes. Then go out into the street, go to the stores, in general, behave as if it is your everyday look. Naturally, you will feel discomfort in this form. But at the same time, you will have a psychological threshold of critical perception of you surrounding;
- "Orator in Life." Try to act publicly as possible. If at work the head asks someone to prepare a presentation, organize an event or go on a business trip with an important report - show the initiative and take these functions on yourself. If you have a fear of public speeches, the ways to overcome it have already been described in this article.
Both of these exercises are associated with exit from the comfort zone. Our brain begins to think that such behavior is normal for us and these things no longer cause such stress as before. Remember, the best way to get rid of fear is to do what you are afraid!
7. How to find yourself and learn how to manage your self-esteem - 5 important advice
And now 5 short tips for managing self-esteem:
- Stop comparing yourself with others;
- Stop scolding and criticizing yourself;
- Communicate with positive people;
- Do you like;
- Act, and not think about action!
Remember that you are a unique person with great potential and unlimited possibilities. Improving self-esteem is one way to reveal your ability to fully.
8. Test for self-esteem - determine the level of attitude towards yourself today
My self-esteem test consists of several simple questions that you need to answer only "Yes" or "No". When you do it, consider the number of positive and negative answers.
- You often scold yourself for errors (yes / no);
- You like to suck with friends (friends) and discuss common acquaintances (yes / no);
- You do not have clear goals and you do not plan your life (yes / no);
- You do not engage in physical education and sports (yes / no);
- You like to worry on trifles (yes / no);
- Once in an unfamiliar company, you prefer to remain "in the shade" (yes / no);
- When meeting the opposite sex, you cannot support the conversation (yes / no);
- When you criticize it in depressions (yes / no);
- You like to criticize people and often envy someone else's success (yes / no);
- You can easily hurt a careless word (yes / no).
The key to the Tesu for self-esteem:
Replies "Yes" from the 1st to 3 : Congratulations, you have Normal self-esteem.
Replies "Yes" - more than 3 : you understated self-esteem, work over it.
9. How to raise self-esteem and attract success
Most people suffer from understated self-esteem, but also an overestimated self-esteem can become an obstacle to achieving your goals. A man with a low self-esteem in the depths of the soul is confident that something is wrong with him that he is not worthy and does not deserve happiness, money, success. And people with overwhelmed self-esteem believe that they are worthy of the best, but often not ready to work on it - they are waiting that everything should come in itself. Both are the problem when the life goals are reached.
To achieve the success of Esoteric, they advise to clean the brain from the garbage, forgive everyone and begin to meditate. Financiers advise just to postpone and competently invest money. But for some reason, most people do not work these tips.
If you want to be successful and start making good Denlie you want to be successful and start making good Denli you want to be successful and start earning good Denli you want to be successful and start making good money, first of all you need to realize your value and get rid of internal conflicts . To understand the mechanism, as it works, how the wrong internal installations prevent you from loved yourself and achieve your financial goals, becoming a happy and successful person, come to a free master class from Pavel Wheel "Formula of Abundance".
Now you know what to believe in yourself, not afraid of criticism and adequately evaluate your own talents - it is quite possible and not difficult at all. The main thing is the depth desire to change and the ability to take the first step in the right direction!
Realizing that you need it, you will be able to change your life without exaggeration, to achieve recognition, increase your earnings and it is possible to even open your business.
Finally, I recommend you to watch the video of Veronica Stepanova on how to increase self-esteem:
Successes you and love yourself!
Article author: Maria Zagaininov
Writer, copywriter and editor. I am writing about business, investment and cryptocurrency
All people dream of a decent life: to live with your loved one, make a career, engage in children, have faithful friends. Some for this is invited to a date the girl you like, literally burn at work, find time for travel and outdoor activities with friends. In general, they do everything to achieve the goals.
And others are shy to approach the object of their sympathy, once again remind themselves to the head of themselves, call acquaintances for a party, etc. And now it's not about those who are lazy to do this or have no clear plans and landmarks. People with low self-esteem doomed to it: they are afraid of failure, failure, critics, mistakes. They believe that they are not able to cause interest and do not have talents. For them, dreams remain dreams.
If you feel about this group of people, know: Life can be changed for the better. Enough to explain everything with shyness from nature, physical disabilities or pathological uncomfortable. Just need to work on yourself. There are different techniques to help increase self-esteem and become confident, a successful person. And it doesn't matter how old you are now, you can start at 15, and in 55.
Where to begin
If you are resolutely configured to raise yourself self-esteem, work out the strategy. This will help to formulate goals and achieve them in a short time. Where to begin:
- Complete elementary tests for self-esteem to find out the degree of illness.
- Decide, you will deal with it yourself or you need consultation of a psychologist.
- Pick efficient techniques, special exercises, autotranengi.
- Enjoy the support of loved ones.
- Put the purpose of becoming a successful and self-sufficient person with adequate self-esteem for 3 months (the period may be any).
- We break the goal for smaller tasks: to make a report at work, go to the cinema with friends, invite a girl on a date - this month; Provided to increase the salary, go to the vulgarity, confess to love - in the following, etc.
The most important thing at the beginning of the way to tune in to a positive result, convince yourself that everything will work out. People with understated self-esteem is not easy, but to increase it, it is just necessary to do.
On the reasons and signs of low self-esteem, its levels can be found in our separate review.
It turns out that there are complexes not only physical exercises for sports, but also psychological to enhance self-esteem. Performing them regularly, you can feel the first results in a week. Here is some of them.
Exercise 1. I am good ()
Write at least 10 of your positive qualities. Re-read them daily. After a week, create a new list, trying not to repeat what was in the previous one.
Exercise 2. I was able (-A)
Write 5 achievements you have achieved in life. It does not have to be a victory in the Olympics or Beauty Competition. More simpler things: I found work, graduated from the university. Re-read them every day and learn to be proud of them. In a month, try creating a new list. Other points should be in it.
Exercise 3. I am strong ()
Write the 3rchie situations from your life. Do not describe them in detail, just designate. For example, the death of grandmother, dismissal from work, divorce. Remember how you could survive this period. Even if you were bad, now it's all behind, which means that there is that inner strength that can increase self-esteem. Scroll into your head daily, as you have overcome difficulties, and proud of yourself.
Exercise 4. I am a hero
Write 5 cases from your life when you helped others: were near the girlfriend, when her husband threw her; prepared for a diploma classmate in the university; We regularly bought the products of the old woman, which herself could not do this. Re-read the list every day and proud of yourself. In a month, update it.
Exercise 5. I'm not worse than others
To increase self-esteem, you need to learn to be friends with a mirror. This is one of the most difficult exercises for not confident and shy people. It is necessary to overcome the internal complexes and master this technique.
Give yourself in order. Stand or sit in front of the mirror. Smile to your reflection. Therefore, you can act to choose from: read the poem, sing a song, just talk to you. The goal is to get used to, look at yourself from the side, learn to perceive your image objectively, to understand that you are no worse than others. Start with 5 minutes and from each week to increase this time.
Complexes of psychological exercises can be different. The main thing is the regularity and correctness of their execution.
Good results can be achieved if you sign up for a psychological training "How to increase self-esteem" (options for names are allowed) that are organized by profile specialists. They can be group or individual. As practice shows if the situation is not running, the first option is preferable.
Usually they last 1-2 hours and suggest the exercises in the game form. For example, a psychologist can offer in a circle to all participants (usually 6-10 people):
- Determine your mood in one word (color);
- tell about your positive qualities (who more);
- give yourself advertising using various means (who is better);
- Find in a person sitting on the contrary, 5-10 positive qualities (only not invented, but real);
- Play "I - Tsar": each of the participants becomes the ruler for 5 minutes, makes decisions, publishes laws, and the rest obeys it and worship. Next is determined who coped with the role better.
This is only a small part of the technician who use psychologists on group trainings. Usually enough courses from 4-5 such classes to make sure of their own significance.
At an individual training, a psychologist can suggest a test, perform any situational tasks with the subsequent analysis of the answers or exercise.
To get rid of low self-esteem, psychologists advise practicing autotraenings. However, most people incorrectly perceive this technique. This is not just self-impact and work with your internal complexes. Initially, it treated therapeutic psychotherapeutic techniques. Self-supply is only the second part of any autogenic workout. They didn't even hear about the first, and without her, provarring the same affirmations is most often useless. We are talking about muscle relaxation, which consists of 5 main exercises.
Let's figure out how to properly carry out autotrehenings to raise self-esteem.
Part 1. Muscular Relaxation
The task of this stage is to prepare for autotransigue physically. To do this, you need to relax the body as much as possible and disconnect from the problems of the surrounding world. German Dr. Schulz (the founder of this technique) called this switching point when the activity of the cerebral cortex decreases to a minimum. It is necessary to achieve a state close to the somnolence. This is the initial stage of hypnosis, intermediate between wakefulness and sleep.
To achieve such a state, you need to consistently perform 6 exercises. But first, take the right source posture: half a liter, half-sidew or the position of "Coucher".
Exercise 1. "Severity"
Purpose: Remove the muscular tone.
Close your eyes, imagine how one of the limbs is poured by weight, becomes lead. To mentally convince himself in this: "My right (left) hand (leg) is heavy." You need to feel physically. For the development of the exercise, 21 days are given:
- 3 days work with the right foot;
- 3 days - with left leg;
- 3 days - immediately with both legs;
- 3 days - with his right hand;
- 3 days - with left hand;
- 3 days - immediately with both hands;
- 3 days - immediately with all the limbs.
Performance time: 7-10 minutes.
Exercise 2. "Heat"
Purpose: expand subcutaneous blood vessels.
Close your eyes, imagine how one of the limbs is flooded with warmth, as if you omit it in warm, even hot water. To mentally convince itself in this: "My right (left) hand (leg) warm." Feel physically. The sequence and time of learning exercises are similar to the first.
Exercise 3. "Pulse"
Purpose: normalize heartbeat.
Frame on a flat surface. Close your eyes, put your hand on the heart or on the wrist to hear the pulse beating. Represent how the chest is flooded with warmth. You will inspire this mentally: "My breasts warm, the heart beats exactly, clearly, powerful." Feel this at the physical level. After the pulse responds normal for your age and the health status, it is necessary to learn to manage it: slow down (not lower 50 shots per minute) and accelerate (not exceed 90 shots per minute) with the help of mental affirmations.
This exercise helps to cope with the excitement in stressful situations, quickly take yourself in hand, do not sweat and not falling during public speeches.
Exercise 4. "Breathing"
Purpose: to develop uniform breathing.
Before this exercise is recommended for 5 minutes to remove any physical exertion to bring down the breath slightly. Then you need to relax as much as possible and it is possible to restore it as soon as possible with a deep breath through the nose and maximum exhalation through the mouth. At the same time, mentally every 30 seconds need to repeat the phrase: "My breathing is even and calm." After 2 weeks of the daily workout, you can put it back in 1.5 minutes.
This exercise will help to cope with the attack of excitement in a difficult situation.
Exercise 5. "Solar plexus"
Objective: To establish the blood supply to the internal organs.
Close your eyes, imagine how the belly is flooded with warmth, as if you put a hot warmer on it. To mentally convince himself in this: "My stomach warm." Feel physically.
Exercise 6. "Cool forehead"
Purpose: Certain thinking processes.
Close your eyes, imagine how the head becomes cool, as if you are in the frost or put an ice compress on the forehead. To mentally convince himself in this: "My head is cold." Feel physically.
The exercise will also be useful in stressful situations, which so often do not confident and shy people come across. Surely everyone acquaintances this condition when blood rushes in the head, whiskey pulsates, and thoughts refuse to work. When you learn how to control these processes, it will be easier for you to make weighted and right solutions - one of the key points for those who increase self-esteem.
For 3 weeks, work every day all 6 exercises in the sequence they are given. First, it will be a lot of time to leave for it, but soon you can achieve a state of somnolence in just 5-10 minutes. And only after that it is possible to move to the part of autotraining, which many practitioners are, pronouncing affirmations.
Part 2. Self-pressure and self-education
Before charging affirmations, aimed at improving self-esteem, it is necessary to prepare for this:
- Provide full silence: close the windows, turn off the intercom and phone numbers, warn your homework so that you are not disturbed.
- Leave the position in which you performed the muscular relax: half a liter, half-sidet or the position of "Coucher".
- Close eyes.
- Feel the complete relaxation and state of rest.
- Present a pleasant picture: Forest, nature, sea, beach, rye field, cosmos - all illusions will be different. The main thing is that the color palette brought in peace.
- Enable relaxing music: It can be a classic, nature sounds, white noise. She should not be loud.
- You can attract aromatherapy. Coniferous and citrus smells are recommended.
- You need to do either in either early in the morning when the consciousness is still clean, or in the evening, immediately before bedtime - so affair the affirmations are absorbed better.
Schulz called the moment autotreating catharsis (climax). Only after that it is allowed to pronounce chosen affirmations to increase self-esteem. To them, too, there are a lot of requirements:
- It will be better if you will tell you a psychologist in accordance with your individual features.
- Do not gain more than 10 affirmations for 1 time.
- Kits from 10 affirmations need to be changed every 1-2 weeks.
- It is better to memorize them by heart, and not read on a piece of paper or from the phone, as it will break the visualization (you can not open your eyes). As an option, listen to audio recordings with them, but not in the headphones.
- They need to vote out loud, clear, even, calm voice.
- Writing schemes can be different: the entire list from beginning to end, and then repeat it first or each phrase say 2-3 times. This is at your discretion.
- There is an effective technique, recommending to work with only one affirmation until it is entrenched in the subconscious, and only after that move to another.
Be careful! Outcasting is contraindicated in vegetative dystonia, acute somatic attacks, epilepsy, tendency to deliberate and unclear consciousness.
The most common mistakes:
- use of the future time in affirmations;
- The use of verb forms "I can" and "I will";
- the use of a negative particle "not";
- irregular work with affirmations (not every day);
- Vinaigrette from phrases: today - one block, tomorrow - the other;
- Lack of action: If you are reading the affirmation "I am not afraid of public speeches," and once again refused to read the report at work, autotraining will be useless.
The task of autotraining is to clear consciousness from negative thoughts and replace them with positive. A man with low self-esteem is a glass of dirty water. Classes of this kind are a filter that gradually cleans it from unnecessary impurities. To do as long as it is not crystal clear.
Affirmations that increase self-esteem (approximate traditional block):
- I am worthy of (-yna) love and respect.
- I act independently, without regard to someone else's opinion.
- Everything is fine in me: from the smallest details to serious actions.
- Errors and criticism are inevitable, but they are only part of my experience and help me get better.
- I forgive everyone who once offended me. And myself (s) let go of the feeling of guilt. All in the past.
- I am the master (-ych) of his life.
- Everything works for me. I'm a lucky (). I attract love, happiness and success.
- I can take care of myself.
- I am sure in tomorrow.
- In my actions and actions, nothing can limit me.
Lifehak. When you pick up the affirmation block for yourself, rewrite them on a piece of paper with your left hand if you are right, and vice versa. It activates the work of both hemispheres of the brain, and the effects of phrases on the subconscious will begin from this moment.
If it is properly autotraining, you can literally increase self-esteem and love yourself even in the most launched cases without attracting hypnosis and psychotherapy. This is an effective technique available absolutely to everyone at home.
Lifehak. Print or write affirmations on bright sheets of paper with inspirational pictures and drag them in different places of the apartment, where you are most often. When your view will dwell on them, mentally say the phrase, convince yourself that they read, and do it all with a smile.
For autotrehening, the proper formulation of affirmations is of great importance. For people with a low self-esteem, they often become traps, which instead of treating them drive them into an even greater dead end.
It happened with one of the writers. According to his youth, her book was well sold, but after the crisis, the 1990s ceased to take her creations into circulation. She fell into depression, during which he convinced himself that the economic situation in the country was not to blame for its unrecognizance, but the lack of talent. She threw her beloved and sat down at the cashier at the grocery store. Nervous work with capricious buyers, underestimation from the head, low salary - all this led to the fact that her self-esteem fell even more.
At some point, she realized the need to change something in life and began to engage in independently engaged in autotraining, resumed work on the book, left with the hated position of the cashier. A month later, a tragedy occurred: her new work refused to print all the publishers in which she appeared. Outcome - chopped veins. Although everything happened, thanks to the preferably in time doctors.
Psychologists and psychotherapists began to work with the writer. They could not understand why autotraining, designed to increase her self-esteem, led to the deplorable results, until they viewed the list of affirmations: "I am a recognized and talented writer", "My books publishers pour apolust" and everything in the same spirit. She convinced himself what had not yet reached. And when these beliefs collapsed in real life, her subconsciously could not cope with it.
Tips for psychologist
There is a universal memo, how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence that is suitable for everyone. Trying to adhere to these 10 rules, it is possible to become a successful person as a successful person, you will involve shyness in yourself and have a reason to adequately appreciate your capabilities.
Rule 1. Do your appearance
Complete medical examination, treat the existing diseases - good health is the foundation of a beautiful appearance. Update your wardrobe by choosing the clothes of bright tones. Go to the hairdresser, change the image. Buy yourself what has long been dreamed of. Men can acquire stylish hours - psychologists claim that they increase their self-esteem. For girls such an accessory can be decorations. Do not slouch and do not look into the floor, go with a high head-raised head and straight back.
And stop paying attention to your physical disadvantages. Read about people with disabilities who became the models and queens of beauty - this will become good motivation to increase their own self-esteem.
Rule 2. Always smile
Perhaps first it will have to do through force. But a couple of weeks of training and you will no longer be given with such difficulty as before. Smile even those who do not tolerate in the spirit: people emitting happiness attract success. This will give you a feeling of ease and self-confidence.
Rule 3. Enter the Diary of Success
Daily before bedtime make several records about what you could achieve for today. It may be trifles: smiled at the boss, whom I hate, made morning exercises. Or large achievements: achieved a salary increase. Re-read the recording from time to time to track progress. The main thing is to find positive moments in your actions.
Rule 4. Do not be lazy
Work on yourself should be daily, otherwise there will be no results. There are people who do not achieve anything because of low self-esteem, but because of laziness. Let it not be your situation. If you feel that today I have not done anything yet, it's never too late to fix it: go with friends for a walk, look at the motivational film, spend autotraining.
Rule 5. Expand the circle of communication
To increase self-esteem, you need to liberate. Become a part of the society that surrounds you. With friends and loved one, it is easier to overcome your complexes. We go for holidays, exhibitions, communicate in social networks, adjust contacts with colleagues and relationships with relatives.
Rule 6. Do just what you like
Do not like the movie - do not look. The book is not like - take another. An annoying colleague - Try to communicate less with him. Learn to do only what gives you a real pleasure.
Rule 7. Do not allow bad thoughts
Avoid thinking and talking about any things in a negative key. Start with yourself: do not criticize your appearance, do not dwell on your own errors. Then spread it on the others: each person has the right to condescend from you. Psychologists strongly advise him to abandon gossip.
Rule 8. Get the goals
Put in front of you the most real goals you can achieve, breaking them into smaller tasks. Wrong wording: "I want a million". Correct: "I deserve a salary increase."
Rule 9. Learn to say no
The main sign of a person with underestimated self-esteem is inability to refuse. It forms a huge part of the responsibilities and tasks, which are not possible in time in time physically. The result is the formation of complexes (I can not), depressive, depressed condition, hypertrophied guilt. Learn to say "no", and people will respect you in response.
Rule 10. Learn to take criticism
Perceive criticism and your own mistakes as an experience that makes you stronger. No need to fall into hysterics and flooded with tears for each remark. He will be able to correct what, indeed, requires correction, and not pay attention to what has been said in the rustling of anger and does not have a real coil. Learn to see the motives of people who tell you a negative. For example, a girlfriend can say that you look bad, from envy. The husband did not notice your new manicure only because I was tired at work and falling down. So do not screw yourself and objectively perceive all the information that comes to you.
These recommendations should be adhered to those who are trying to increase their self-esteem on their own, and those who do it with the help of a psychologist.
How to increase your child's self-esteem
Regardless of the age of the child, parents need to contact a children's psychologist and do nothing to hide anything about the methods of upbringing and problems at school. And do not act independently. Otherwise, help may be useless.
Work with preschoolers
- Do not criticize. Learn to perceive your child as it is, with all its shortcomings.
- Do not raise your voice, do not scold. Make comments calmly, do not go to the cry.
- Cook it more often, Keiling, show your love, say compliments, praise for each trifle.
- Baby - your own reflection. Do not engage in self-vacation with it.
- Do not let him compare ourselves with others. Explain that every person is good in its own way.
- Ask his opinion, ask to justify, gently adjust its point of view if it comes against the generally accepted rules.
- Create houses a cozy atmosphere, without quarrels and scandals.
- Provide him a sufficient number of communications with peers.
- Talk to caregivers in kindergarten so that they do not sharpen attention on his mistakes and did not scold with the whole group.
Improving the self-esteem of younger schoolchildren
We take into account all the recommendations for the parents of the preschooler (they remain relevant at this stage in the development of the child) and add some more.
- Find for the child the classes in which he is most successful, record in the circles and sections.
- Motivate him on participation in competitions, relay, olympiads, but only in those areas where he can succeed.
- Always be supporting and protection for your child, if right.
- To teach him to say "no" both peers and adults.
- Take him a magazine (diary) of your own achievements.
- Never compare with classmates in terms of study.
- If serious problems are detected in training, talk to the teacher about how to improve the success of the child. Do not give up tutors if necessary.
- In the case when it is incorrect, not swear, but to bring examples from life than fraught with such errors.
- Do not oversee the requirements for it.
And the cribs continue to work again, how to increase self-esteem in preschool and younger school age, plus take into account the additional advice of psychologists regarding only teenagers.
- No matter how difficult it was to withstand transitional age, you need to gain patience and avoid conflicts with a teenager to the maximum.
- Learn to respect His and his opinion, which must be interested even in trifles, starting with the choice of a toothbrush and ending with the interior design of the room.
- Teach him to care for its own appearance, which in adolescence is important for the formation of adequate self-esteem.
- Do not allow a teenager to talk about yourself in a negative bed, humiliate yourself, underestimate your own data and successes, compare yourself with someone.
- Listen to his desires: If he wants to lose weight, help organize proper nutrition and make up the workout plan, and not allow him to bring himself to anorexia.
- To bring up in it tolerance, humanity to others. Psychologists argue that this is one of the most effective methods to increase the self-esteem of the teenager.
- You can train it autotransigue.
- Encourage communication with peers, but at the same time track the circle of his friends in terms of reliability and adequacy.
- Prompt to a healthy lifestyle: proper nutrition, day mode, full sleep, sports and lack of bad habits.
How to increase self-esteem woman
According to statistics, women are much more likely to suffer from self-esteem than men. They are too critical to their appearance, too passionate in self-confidence and are able to turn a tiny fly in a huge elephant.
Several recommendations of psychologists:
- Stop comparing yourself with others. Find in yourself the dignity that allocate you.
- Never speak out of myself either alone with you, ne all when someone. To prohibit yourself even think about yourself in a negative key.
- To do your appearance and health that are interrelated. It is essential to look greatly on the way to adequate self-esteem.
- Learn to react to compliments correctly. Not "oh well, I'm usual" or "Why do you flatter me," and "Thank you, very nice."
- If you are subject to constant humiliation from the head (husband, boyfriend, father, mother, girlfriend), or learn to rebuff, or stop communication. Yes, it is difficult: to quit from the usual work, to break the relationship with your loved one, say "no" to his own parents. But otherwise you will have to endure them all your life.
- Find what gives you pleasure, and find time for this at least once a week: shopping, viewing your favorite TV series, beauty salon.
The main recommendation for men, girls or wives of which are distinguished by low self-esteem: Never compare them with others, more often make compliments and gifts. This is the best psychotherapeutic assistance in this situation.
Example from practice. A young man with a problem came to the psychologist that his girl had too understated self-esteem, and he could not increase her. She had a difficult childhood when his mother left for her young children and forced to work on the market since 12 years. She had never had beautiful things, she did not know how to care for himself, did not have success in classmates. That is, the causes of uncertainty were obvious.
Work began with a psychologist. The guy taught the girl to dress beautifully, follow himself, helped to enter the correspondence department at the university, gave gifts, was attentive and gentle. However, even six months later, there was little painstaking work. She was still too shy, not confident in his abilities and still considered herself to be insignificantly.
And only then it was possible to find out the main reason why the course of psychological assistance remained ineffective: the guy almost every day reminded the girl about her unsuccessful childhood. And did it without evil intent, I wanted her to see the difference between the past and the present. But in fact, only aggravated the situation, forcing it again and again to worry about the moments of humiliation.
After identifying this error, the couple managed to cope with the problem, the girl flourished, became a happy wife, I implemented myself as a good mother and even was able to make a career.
How to improve self-esteem man
With low self-esteem men work much more difficult. Firstly, most often the causes are deeply in childhood, and they do not seek to advertise them, but thoroughly hide, having fun. Secondly, they themselves are more closed than women, and for psychologists, it is an important role that confidence plays. Thirdly, persuade them to go to a specialist - a big problem.
What to do men to increase self-esteem?
- Put a real target, split into several tasks and gradually move towards it.
- Every mistake to perceive not like a blow of fate, but as a chance to correct and become better.
- Refresh the wardrobe.
- Find a hobby.
- Expand the circle of communication.
- Suggest a boss several innovative ideas, make a report or take up a new project with a further prospect of career growth.
- Help others.
- Start a relationship, create a family, become a father.
Recommendations of psychologists to a woman / girl, how to increase self-esteem to your husband / guy:
- Encourage it in any endeavors, motivate on decisive actions and actions.
- To enlist the support of his loved ones: talk to friends, parents, colleagues so that you all act together.
- Do not cut it, not insult, not to humiliate, do not criticize.
- Praise for any achievement.
- Ask, consider and respect his opinion.
- Ask for help in home affairs, study, raising children.
And the most important advice is to love him. A man who is waiting for a house loving and caring wife is more often successful in his career and does not have problems with self-esteem.
When you look at the show of a beautiful life, they plunge you into an even greater bunch of our own complexes. There is a constant comparison of herself with the on-screen heroes in favor of the latter. It lowers, and does not increase self-esteem. Therefore, working on yourself, exclude them from your pastime. They have a decent replacement. First, various trainings, master classes and video studies in the form of documentaries. Secondly, the masterpieces of artistic cinema, which motivated, and do not destroy self-awareness.
- Brian Tracy. Self-esteem. Psychology of success.
- Depression and self-esteem. Jacques Fresco. Project Venus.
- How to increase self-esteem? 10 proven ways.
- Psychology of Personality. Low self-esteem. How to raise low self-esteem.
- Confidence in yourself - the key to victory!
- The Pursuit of Happyness.
- Always say yes".
- Peace Warrior.
- Never give up.
- The man who changed everything.
To raise self-esteem, read motivating and training books on this topic. If you work with a psychologist, he will tell the list. If you are engaged in yourself, you can take advantage of a small rating of the best works written by famous practicing specialists. Each of them is a real masterpiece capable of turning your identity.
The main rule is thought thoughtfully and fulfill all the recommendations that the authors give, pass tests, analyze their results, carry out autotransigue described in them.
- Zimbardo F. Shyness. What it is and how to deal with it.
- Levi V. Art is.
- Mammoth S. Yu. Believe in yourself. Training confidence.
- Muir E. Confidence in itself. Book for work on yourself.
- Parthenteva L. 100 ways to change life.
- Robert E. The main secrets of absolute self-confidence.
- Santandreu R. How not to turn your life into a nightmare. 20 proven ways to escape from captivity toxic thoughts to the shores of a new life.
- Sergeeva O. M., Tarasov E. A. How to raise self-esteem and become confident. Tests and rules.
- Frank P. How to become confident. Just 6 minutes a day. Training book.
- Hibbard D., Asmar D. This book will make you confident.
Raising self-esteem The process is long and difficult. To pass it alone is quite difficult, although it is possible. However, it will be better if you initially begin to communicate with like-minded people, find the strength to sign up for the reception to a psychologist, enlist the support of loved ones. These actions will make you get out of the comfort zone and start the path to the life you deserve to those dreams that will now finally become a reality.
See also: self-esteem: What is it and how to work with it?
The low level of self-esteem does not make any activity. When a person is constantly waiting for ridicule and insults, the problems of overcoming fear of public speeches and simply acquire the size of phobias.
How to raise self-esteem
Low self-esteem reason for the occurrence of social phobias (fear of people, fear of public speeches, fear of success). People with low self-esteem differ in passivity and timidity.
They are wounded and offended, everywhere await ridicule and insults. Such a minority leads to loneliness and generates a mass of unjustified complexes, forming an image of a loser. If a person has problems with self-esteem, do not see him a harmonious relationship either in the family or loved ones, ne all in business! Output one - improving self-esteem.
1. Speak yourself only good
Eternal discontent itself does not contribute to the growth of the level of self-assessment. Therefore, the first thing to do is to love yourself and often praise for successes, even if they are not too significant. Waking up, tell me that life day from day is becoming better, remember which you are beautiful, smart and capable. Enough to compare ourselves with others: psychologists argue that it is more correct to compare themselves today's sung yesterday.
"Avoid those who try to undermine your faith in yourself. The Great Man, on the contrary, inspires the feeling that you can become great, "Mark Twain.
2. Evaluate yourself
In order to fulfill this advice, psychologists recommend excellent exercise. You should take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. In one part, noted all its positive qualities, in the other - negative plus what you would like to change in yourself. The second part of the list should be taken to note, and the first thing is to read out loud regularly. They say low self-esteem comes on no!
"Hurrah! Someone said somewhere that I was better than someone! ", Marge Simpson.
3. Come on at physical education
With gratitude and love treat your body, but at the same time do not forget to self-improve. Any physical exercises greatly raise a person in his own eyes. Take yourself by running a coward, sign up for swimming or in a gym, make the morning gymnastics or, at worst, make a habit of stopping a couple of stops. As you know, in a healthy body - a healthy mind.
"If the TV and the refrigerator were not in different rooms, then some of us would have died on the absence of exercise," Stephen Patrick Morrissi.
4. Do not justify
Try not to apologize for one misconduct twice, and even more so many times. Do not make verbal speeches in your justification in the case and without a case, convincing yourself that "this is done by educated people." It is quite enough to apologize once, and then only if you consider yourself to be guilty. If not, then calmly, confidently explain your act.
"I explain my success here's what: I have never justified in my life and did not listen to the excuses," Florence Plantneyale.
5. Avoid invasions
Stop communicating with people who are unceremoniously invade your life, impose your own opinions to you, your vision of solving problems and especially inspires the feeling of guilt. Protect your personal space and build your own life in your own scenario. After all, this is your life, no one, besides you, will not be able to live it.
"We can not interfere. So that people believe in us, we must believe in people, "Zeus, from the film" War of the Gods: Immortal ".
6. Choose "Right" Friends
The influence of the environment on a man is large. Remember the saying "Who will come with, from that and you'll get"? If you are not too confident in yourself, you are unlikely to benefit communication with a person who is dissatisfied with everything and everything, constantly grieves about the imperfection of the world, and also looks like the shortcomings of others. Chat and be friends better with positive and confident people - it is useful for health! Such people are not inclined to condemn others, they literally "infect everyone's vigor, love for others and an optimistic mood!
7. Make your favorite thing
Practice shows that most often the level of self-esteem directly depends on whether you are deemed about or not. So, maybe instead of marking in the work that makes you unhappy, and do it after the sleeves, it is worth choosing a profession like? Undoubtedly, in this case, you will have more chances to achieve a good result, and this, in turn, will affect your mental state.
And further. Deciding to do some important thing, do not postpone it in a long box. If you want to start something or change in your life, start right now, "New Life from Monday" is inaction. The longer you are going to start, the more irresistible difficulties there will be possible difficulties.
8. Please benefit people
Nothing convinces man in his need, as helping others. Take part in a charity event, make a feeder for birds, help convey the old woman's bag. Practice shows that helping those who need in this aid, giving a part of themselves to others, we like rising in our own eyes. At the same time, do not shout at all corners of your need and try to excessively not to demonstrate your significance. True confidence does not need loud external manifestations. The level of self-assessment is an indicator of how you yourself evaluate your own efforts attached to achieve the goal and the surrounding here.
9. Live with pleasure
It is said that 98% of the population live according to the rules, and 2% create them. Agree: to live among the second, creating the rules yourself, much more convenient! Allow yourself to live with pleasure: go to the hairdresser, update the wardrobe, please yourself with your favorite dish, finally, just make general cleaning in the house - all these little things mean a lot of self-esteem. Get the Diary of Success and regularly record all your achievements there - it will help to look at life on the other side.
And let yourself be imperfect. First, all the failures, problems and blows of fate are invaluable experience. Secondly, the perfect people do not happen, and you, like most, do something worse than others, but something is better! Forgive yourself for misses and failures, remove the lessons and start all over again. The winner is different from chronic loser, attitude towards failures.
10. Create your future
What would you like to live in five, ten, twenty years? Imagine a picture of your own happy future, think about how to achieve this, make a plan of action and steadily follow it. In a word, determine the life goal and persistently follow it: knowledgeable people claim that the best way to predict the future is to create it!
"The future is what is created with your own hands. If you give up, you are inferior to fate. Believe in yourself and you can build the future, what you want, "Sailor Mercury.
11. When the self-conception is harmful
High self-esteem is not at all the same as a healthy self-esteem, psychologists are convinced. Professor of psychology from the University of Georgia, Michael Kernis, has discovered an interesting pattern: the behavior of people with unstable and superficial high self-esteem is practically no different from the behavior of people with low self-esteem.
"It was previously believed that, the higher the person appreciates himself, the better. However, in recent years, this theory is bursting on all seams, especially if we are talking about aggressive behavior, "says Professor Kernis. - People with high self-esteem sometimes become unbearable, if someone threatens their ego. "
The researcher claims that they compensate their imperisibility by an obsessive trend for anyone to defend and zealo protect "their honor", for which, in general, no one has encouraged. As a rule, they exaggerate the degree of potential threat, so they have to apply a lot of effort to keep self-esteem.
"There is nothing cramless that people want to think about themselves," the scientist will summarize. - But when it becomes obsessive, a person becomes too sensitive to criticism of others and is forced to constantly prove its significance. Such behavior deprives all psychological advantages. "
12. The main thing is to believe in yourself and just live
"The level of self-esteem has an impact on all human life spheres," says psychologist Marina Derkach. A man undertaking his abilities is unlikely to be successful in business and, most likely, will not be able to build equal partnerships in marriage.
The understated self-esteem plays with people evil jokes: some it makes all their lives quietly sit in the corner, and others - overly and deliberately demonstrate their significance. It has been proven and verified: healthy self-esteem not only helps in business and personal life, but also has a rejuvenating effect on the body!
As you know, we all "come from childhood": if parents are without tired of repeating the child, that he does not know how he can never get anything, the likelihood is great that in the future this person has big problems. Therefore, advice to parents: no matter what happens, criticize the act, not a child. And the advice to those who can not boast of "right" parents: remember what American psychologists say, it's never too late to have a happy childhood! "
And finally, the most important thing: following the above advice to improve self-esteem, do not overdo it, do not "climb out of the skin." Just live and believe in what you can achieve everything you want.